Blog post #9 Week 12 Limited Representation

  Resonances/ Questions/Critiques

As I read through the two articles, one thing that resonated with me was that I was one of the little girls unknowingly pretending to be a white princess from the fairytales or one of many white Barbie dolls, or baby dolls that I played with. Not only were my dolls mostly white so were my neighbors and classmates. The posters on my bedroom walls were of mostly white artist; Duran Duran, George Michael, Cindy Lauper, Beastie Boys, Hall and Oats, and Madonna, I also had Michael Jackson, Prince, Run DMC, and LL. As more and more black artist came out with music and videos my walls became less white, not that the music wasn't good, I think I wanted more representation of self in my room. I didn't realize how limited African American representation was growing up. It was normal to be one of the only black youths, besides my sister playing outside or to only see one black person in a show as the best friend or as the neighbor. YDEV classes opened my eye wider to see how the world really is and try to come up with solutions on how to help everyone else see it too.

         

           
What also resonated with me was the feeling of not doing enough in life to be considered good enough. When can I slow down? Sometimes I think that I am not living my best life, I am just existing, I am exhausted.

BLOG POST #11 week 14 Abolitionists

What ideas here feel close, like you can touch them?

An idea that feels close enough to touch is being/becoming woke to systemic racism, woke to the idea that nothing is going to change unless you don't A C T I V E L Y do something about it, act on it. In the podcast, B. Love became woke in college when she noticed she was in jock classes with the male bball players and not in classes that would put her in the direction towards a degree program that she wanted. This decision was made for her, by her being from the inner city, the "systems that be" thought that she needed easy classes in order for her to pass. G. Muhammad was school age when she noticed her twin sister got put on the fast track in school and she was in the "slow" classes. She stuck up for herself and was able to convince her mom that she belonged in the "fast" classes with her sister. I noticed the system not working for me in high school. I was in U.S History class and I felt that the teacher really wasn't teaching me. I would ask her questions and she would tell me to read the book. I ended up failing her class and having to take the same class with the same teacher and got the same results. I tried to fight it but my guidance counselor did not help my situation. I ended up having to take the class in summer school and passed with an A but could only receive a C because they had to take the average score. The next year my sister had the same teacher for the same class and the teacher said to her, " You're back again?" This situation cemented in my head that not everyone is on your side fighting for you and your well being. It let me know that I have to speak up and fight for myself to get what I need and want.

What ideas feel far away/ hard to wrap your mind around/ impossible?

The ideas that feels far away is that when thinking who needs antiracism education the system seems to want to educate the minorities, the black and brown children when they are living and maneuvering through this world as it is. As B. Love said on the podcast, the schools need to educate white children/teachers/parents so they can S E E what is going on in our education system, and how things aren't how they are presented to us and what we have to go through on a daily basis.

What does this have to do with youth work? With social justice? With your daily practice?

The abolitionists work goes hand in hand with youth work. We have to have small acts of resistance to keep pushing forward. We have to keep fighting for equal right for black and brown students and teachers. We want change so we have to put in the work to make the changes that we want to see.

Blog Post #8 week 11 Rest and Recoup

 

Tell us a story about a time in your life when you needed and received care. What did this look and feel like? How did SYSTEMS play a role in your story--how were institutions caring or uncaring

A time in my life when I needed care and received it:

My mom knows when I am stressed out, she can hear it in my voice, she can feel it in her soul. She knows when I have been going through "Grind Culture" (working all the time; slave culture). I have been working my two jobs, getting stressed out, dealing with my husband that is a nice guy but does not help around the house. Dealing with my grown son, making sure he is working towards getting his life together. Watching the news, making sure he is not on it, in an accident or arrested and the list goes on and on. When I am home, I cannot seem to quiet my mind from thinking about my family and making sure they are well and are in good positions in their life.

The care I received was, my mom had me come to Kentucky to visit her without my family so I could rest. I got to SLEEP!!! I woke up when I woke up and fell back to sleep when my eyes closed without thinking about what I had to do next. It was the best feeling to not have to think about anyone but myself.

The systems, capitalism and white supremacy play a role in my story by making me think that I must work multiple jobs to achieve the "American Dream". To purchase a house, cars, and savings, I am working like a machine which is tearing my body, mind, and soul apart. I know to reclaim my body, I need to "nap". I need to retrain my brain, because you cannot take anything with you if you are dead from exhaustion. Tricia Hersey's podcast has me thinking how I can be more human and less machinelike.